Happy Saturday after Valentine’s Day! Did we all survive the big day? My sample is from my romantic suspense, Obsession. Enjoy!
Upton stepped closer, going nose-to-nose, toe-to-toe with him. “I’m saying better him than you. I’d rather scrape his sorry ass off the ground than the best damn cop in the department. “Don’t go getting teary-eyed on me, Officer Juran. That kid made a lot of bad choices long before he ended up a chalk outline, and not one of them had to do with you.”
Alex ground his teeth. “What if I had been the chalk outline? Would the case be closed then?”
Upton stepped back. “You weren’t and you should be damn happy about it.”
Alex ran a hand through his hair. “So that’s it. Case closed. No more bad guy.”
“What should we do, Juran? We’ve followed every lead. Until your memory returns—if your memory returns—our hands are tied.”
“And what about the intruder? The guy who attacked Tess?”
“What about them?”
“LT never mentioned them.”
“And why would he? They’re nothing but harmless pranks.”
“So you’re telling me Tess’s attack was a harmless prank?” He took a step closer to Upton and stopped, afraid of what he’d do if he got too close. Upton glanced at his clenched hands and raised his brows, the warning clear in the depths of his eyes. Alex relaxed his fingers, but the anger was still seething inside him. “You were there that day, Matthew. You saw her. You saw what that bastard did to her.”
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Alex must be frustrated beyond belief, waiting for his memory to return (maybe). You did a good job creating tension in this scene, especially with them invading each other’s space by getting too close. Good writing.
Oooh, this is intense! I felt like I needed to back away to a safe distance–awesome job of putting your reader there!
There’s a lot of tension and inner turmult going on here.
Very intense sample, Sharon!! Now I need more!