Birthdays, Bars and Bathrooms

The other day a friend of mine celebrated her birthday by inviting a bunch of her closest friends to a bar she likes to frequent. I went because I like my friend a lot. The bar, not so much. Even in my heyday (read: college days), I wasn’t into the bar scene. At least not the meat market bar scene.

I like me a quiet bar where I can converse with the bartender and nurse a drink (okay, Diet Coke) all night long.

This was not that sort of place.

This was a meat market.

I was out of my element.

So around midnightish I had to make a trip to the little girl’s room. I enter and there, standing in front of the mirror, putting on her lipstick, is a Snookie wanna-be. Blonde. But a wanna-be nonetheless.

Okay. To each his own.

She looks at me and says, “I washed my hands. You weren’t in here when I did, but I did wash my hands.”

Umm. Okay? Good for you? I’m grateful? What does one say to that? I just smile and go into my stall. Blonde Snookie keeps telling me she washed her hands.

Another girl exits her particular stall and Blonde Snookie squeals. “Oh my GAWD, I LOVE your hair! It’s FAB!”

Fab?

“Um. Thanks,” says the poor other girl who is now cornered by Blonde Snookie. I can hear her washing her hands then she asks Blonde Snookie, “Where do I dry my hands?”

“Oh on that THING over THERE. That THING hanging on the WALL.”

I quickly wash my own hands and side step out of there sending up a silent prayer for the poor girl still cornered by Blonde Snookie.

Yeah. Not my thing.

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8 thoughts on “Birthdays, Bars and Bathrooms

  1. bahahahah! I’ve seen more share of blond- redhead- and otherwise Snooki wannabes..it just makes me do the eyeroll. But not to their faces. I don’t wanna get into a Snooki Smackdown!

    PS: I’m with you – the meat market was never my thing, either…

  2. Pick-up bars were never my thing either…but I was a bartender for five years! I loved my job. But they’ve changed the laws and it’s too risky.
    Poor Blondie, maybe she was trying too hard to fit in!
    Neecy

  3. Oh, my. I don’t remember the last time I was in a bar. I never liked them. I don’t understand the Snookie thing…I’m getting old.

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